Misogyny must be challenged at all levels says Downpatrick Down News blogger Helen Hastings
All I want for Christmas is… well, it’s not misogyny anyway.
‘Quiet, quiet piggy’ These are the words that cut straight to the heart of every intelligent and consciously aware woman on the face of the planet this month writes Down News blogger Helen Hastings.
It wasn’t just the further illumination of the toxicity at the core of the White house; it was also another nail being slammed into the metaphorical coffin that our place in this world has become.
The woman in question stood for everything that Trump despises and fears; an intelligent woman who sees straight into the rotting heart of the world he wants to create.
It wasn’t even the word ‘Piggy’ that had us squirming at first, before that word even dropped from his mouth the words ‘Quiet, Quiet……’ and the wagging of a chubby index finger was enough to challenge the strongest of female stomachs.
It would be easy for us to dismiss the incident as political drama, just another thing happening in American politics.
But there’s no getting away from it, misogyny’s foothold is getting stronger and stronger every day in global society and it’s a monster of a terrifyingly insidious nature.
Earlier this year, Northern Ireland was announced as being statistically the most dangerous country in Europe to be a woman. It felt like a twilight zone experience; I had gone to sleep in a country I knew and loved and woken in a dystopian land that Margaret Atwood could write another book about.
I’m not a mother but I wondered in that moment how it must feel for any parent looking at their daughter and hearing ‘most dangerous country in Europe…’ I tried to imagine the panic-stricken battle I might feel within; trying to instil safety in my daughter whilst trying not to create a paranoid world around her fuelled by my own fears as a parent and the horror stories that the media presents on a daily basis.
The most terrifying attribute of this modern misogyny epidemic is not just how it presents itself courtesy of the most powerful men in the world but how it has become normalised, expected, taken for granted, just one of those things.
This is where where the danger has been lying all this time, in our forced but quiet acceptance, the normalisation of a world where we are not safe or respected anymore.
And what effect does this have on our mental health?
We are always told to be strong as woman, to stand up and be counted, to strive for our place on this planet but how can we do that with a straight face when every positive step we take is driven off the path by contradiction? Sometimes this latest war on feminism feels like a wake.
It’s the death of everything we have fought for and stood up for, and the legacy left to us by women like the suffragettes is lying in tatters.
If you are a woman who has struggled or continues to struggle with self-worth and confidence, this latest wave of media fuelled misogyny can be a particularly damning and toxic brand.
And what if you are someone who has been a victim of any kind of abuse at the hands of a male? Where do you turn? Where exactly feels safe in a world that seemingly entertains a real-life Handmaids Tale on a daily basis?
We see misogyny being glamourised every day, dressed from head to toe in power, so what can we do? What can we say to each other? What can we say to ourselves? What can we say to our daughters?
Ok, so repeat after me………’THIS IS NOT NORMAL OR ACCEPTABLE AND I AM ENTITLED TO BE AND FEEL SAFE.’ There that’s it.
Sadly, it’s all I’ve got right now in my feminist arsenal but I feel it’s one of the most important things we have. As I said earlier, the danger is in normalisation.
When we recognise words or actions as unacceptable, disrespectful or derogatory we are recognising our place in this world, we are recognising our identity as human beings and most importantly we recognise our self-worth.
We don’t just call out misogyny to prove a point, we call out misogyny because we are striving to feel safe.
One thing I want to do though before I sign off is to make a special mention to all the beautiful, strong and kindly men there are out there.
Not just the courageous fathers raising strong daughters, but all men like my own father who understand the real essence of power.
They understand that genuine power goes hand-in-hand with kindness and love, respect and dignity.
